This weekend was one of excess, debauchery, joy, friends, service and movement. I enjoyed it thoroughly and remembered what it felt like to be young, carefree and spontaneous. I am 33 years old. And somehow, I bought into the idea that I can’t do these things at an accelerated level. I think it helped my partner was away for the weekend. He is a great man, and I recognize I fall into that self-made trap of ‘I have a partner now, everything I do must involve him.’ I liked that it didn’t. He was definitely part of the festivities on Saturday night, but he was only a small part of the entire weekend and I appreciated that.
School will start again this Friday and continue for 6 days. I am excited to return to USM and the energy field that is present there. I am also aware that I have had such resistance to completing the reading. There are things still on my next-actions, monthly strategies for success list that I haven’t completed…on purpose it feels like.
It is what it is. But it is also something that is present in my mind.
What is this entry about today? How does it tie into my career?
What shows up when I ask that question is discipline. I appreciate having discipline most days because on those days when I completely abandon my intentioned agenda, I do not fall into the hole of self-hatred or the vicious cycle of ‘I’m never going to be able to count on myself. See-look at the evidence.’
In being able to have successfully got up every morning last week and write for an hour, I had discipline. It felt great. And, yesterday, I was flexible with the schedule. I had such a night on Saturday that I decided to let myself sleep in on Sunday, as long as when I did get up, I’d do my writing. And I did. I also chose to eat whatever I felt like yesterday, instead of the vegan diet I’ve maintained throughout the last 6 weeks. It was fun- ice cream, pizza, a big chocolate chip cookie and we can’t forget the cheesecake. I noticed I felt uncomfortable (I still do this morning), yet in this moment, I know that I enjoyed being able to and now I want to eat vegan again today.
So, in relation to the career I am building in this moment, I recognize discipline is a necessity for me feeling like I have a handle on it. It’s such a vague, ethereal career choice.
A person who collaborates with amazing musicians to create music that raises the vibration of the planet.
Yet, I still know it requires discipline. There are concrete steps I can take to move it so that I meet the best musicians.
QUICK INTERJECTION: I just remembered the amazing jazz musician who I had the honor of speaking with on Friday said ‘the people in my tribe that I am looking for (these musicians for one) are out there looking just as hard for me’. That really settles my soul.
There are concrete steps I can take to get a booking agent, to book shows, to build a fan base, to tap into the abundance flow of money coming into my pockets.
All these steps and the many I didn’t list, require discipline. And if a day shows up where I don’t want to do the work, then I feel like that is okay because I see the results of the days before and the days after. It’s a great gift to give myself- this discipline thing.
I like it.
Peace.
