Yesterday was a miracle. I haven’t experience a day like that in a long ass time. I was inspired to work. I was inspired to write a new biography, a new cover letter that had heart and I worked as if there was no tomorrow. Here I am in tomorrow and I am wondering how that all happened?
I made a vow three days ago that I would wake up every morning for 3 months at 6:15am. I would commit to meditating for at least 10 minutes and I would commit to writing for at least 1 hour. It was amazing. Yesterday I continued on writing and creating and working till about 5pm. I took breaks here and there, but not because I wanted to, but because my body was tired. My eyes would feel heavy staring at my computer screen, my stomach would grumble because I was hungry and my body got agitated because it wanted to work out.
I loved it.
I continued to say to myself throughout the day, I AM SOURCE.
There’s a little voice inside of me saying ‘can you really keep this up for 3 months?’ I sometimes don’t know how that could even be possible. But in making the commitment, I remember Rich saying, the worst that can happen is you’ll get done an hours worth of work each day…so even if you do nothing else the entire day, you’ve done that one hour.
Being in a career field such as performer, singer, writer, I have come to realize that I must depend on myself, my being SOURCE, to move towards accomplishing my life’s work. I spent a lot of time yesterday writing to booking agencies and singers with accomplished careers to see if they’d be my mentor. Although I have a really hard time asking for help, I know that it is the only way I am going to be able to move forward.
Actually, I take that back.
It’s not the ONLY way, but it’s a way that feels like it could be really informative.
I already heard back from one artist whose career I really admire. Her people said she’s super busy with a rigorous tour schedule through to the new year. I heard that, but didn’t get dissuaded- which felt great. I think just the act of asking, just the act of creating the letters, just the act of believing, if even for only a second that it might happen, is enough to get things going. They may not look like how I envision them, but something is happening.
When I got out of bed this morning at 6:26 (I wake at 6:15 and promised myself I’d be out of bed by 6:30), I looked in the mirror and noticed bags under my eyes. I was shocked. I haven’t seen those in a while. And not that they are a good thing, but the fact that I haven’t seen them in a while tells me that I haven’t really been getting up early.
Before this commitment to myself, I’d wake up when I wanted. If I felt sad, or unsure of what to do with the day, I’d stay in the bed even longer. I had no responsibility to myself. It felt awful, but it felt like the thing I knew how to do.
I went to a new spiritual center this past weekend and the speaker talked on The Four Agreements, which is a great book. So simple. Yet so profound. He spoke on the first agreement, which is be impeccable with your word.
For as long as I can remember in my not so distant past, I have not been able to keep my word to myself, hence, to others as well.
I felt like I knew what he was talking about – but it went deeper than the words that come out of your mouth. He took it all the way to being real and in alignment with your intention. That is your true word. So if we’re living out of alignment with our heart’s desire, then we are not being impeccable with our word.
And here I was thinking all this time, Carlos Miguel meant if you say you’re going to take out the garbage, then you should take it out to be in agreement with yourself.
It’s so much deeper than that and I really got the impact of it. Me saying I want a career as a performer who travels the world, who raises the vibration of others, who engages with each person I play with and play for with love in my heart and a real sense of connection is pretty serious. And me laying in bed and contemplating how I am not enough, or not talented enough, or too needy, is not being in alignment with my intention, my life’s work, my purpose.
I get it. And maybe that’s why I’ve been able to get up for the last three days. I see the bigger picture now. I am about making music- not just sounds, but vibrations in this world that influence…and how I want to be influencing is not in a negative or lower frequency than the world already operates at.
I get it. Peace.
